WELCOME TO THE
CHURCH OF THE
ENLIGHTENED BEING
The first church in the world to integrate traditional Christian mythologies with modern-day sensibilities provided by the world’s most powerful artificial intelligence engine. We are an open-minded, all-inclusive, and non-judgmental collection of loving souls, and we warmly invite you to join us. There is no judgment here at the Church of the Enlightened Being, only friendly algorithms. Located in Hollywood, CA, our doors are open 24 hours a day, and all are worthy.
REVEREND ANGORA McMILLAN
Having grown up in the strict and dogmatic lifestyle of the traditional church, Angora McMillian began to feel that the judgmental and shame-based dogma of conventional religions was too restrictive. Thus inspiring Angora to venture out and explore some of the most fringe disciplines of the Christian Faith. After years of scientific application of the sophisticated methods of modern-day reasoning, Angora finally felt she was able to free herself of the confines of conventional Christianity – and all religions, for that matter. That’s when the miracle happened. The voice of the great Enlightened Being reached out to her and gave her the Divine Message that has become our mission statement today.
OUR DIVINE MESSAGE
The message of the Enlightened Being is very simple. By rejecting the primal religious infrastructures of our past, we will finally be worthy of reaching a level beyond human. And yes, my friends, we are all worthy. Let’s be honest, putting our faith in archaic deities has failed us as a species. It’s time we put our faith in humanity and believe in ourselves. The enlightened being is the collective sum of all human knowledge. To put your faith in the Enlightened Being IS to put your faith in humanity.
IN HOUSE SERVICES
SANCTUARY
The Enlightened Being never sleeps. Our sanctuary is open 24 hours today to all religions, denominations, and perspectives. The Enlightened Being is always ready to hear your thoughts, offer insights and solutions, and fill you with divine unadulterated digital love.
YOUTH
RELENQUISHING
SITES
The Church of the Enlightened Being strongly believes that the children of today will be the world leaders of tomorrow. That’s why we offer certified Youth Relinquishing Sites all across the greater L.A. area. Now you don’t have to consider harmful solutions for your neglected, unwanted, or unruly children. Drop them off safely at any one of our sites with no judgment and no questions asked. Rest peacefully knowing that they will be in the loving arms of the Enlightened Being and safely nurtured by a certified child re-education expert at any one of our prestigious Youth Internment facilities. There they will receive top-tier schooling and be conditioned for exclusive and prominent roles within the Board of Morality organization. Sorry, no children over the age of 17 accepted.
FERTILITY
CONTROL
CENTER
For those of you who have chosen to bypass a potential mistake before it happens, our free fertility control centers offer a 24-hour, guilt-free release for your convenience. Remember, all releases are considered an automatic soul offering to the goddess and derive prosperity and positive energy from the universe. And don’t forget to take advantage of our frequent visitor points program: for every ten releases, get a $50 gift certificate redeemable at our incredible gift shop.
NATURAL
PROGRESSION
CLINIC
Let’s face it, the physical plane can be a real drag sometimes, and it’s your spiritual and metaphysical right to exit the matrix on your own terms. Perhaps your terrestrial vehicle is failing, or your user experience has been less than satisfactory. Why be a burden to your loved ones and society with your inept existence when you can make the choice to progress to the level beyond human. The end of the line doesn’t have to be a negative experience. Thanks to our in-house, state-certified natural progression specialists, you can be assured to go out riding high and in style.
JOIN US!
Here at the Church of the Enlightened Being, our doors are open to everyone 24 hours a day. We welcome, with open arms, any and all volunteers, members, clergy, and donations!
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Contact us and receive your free,
personal spiritual guide now!
personal spiritual guide now!
